Bank of America has 48 Jobs in 48 Hours!

Upon hearing that I posted leads for job openings at MetLife, the Fuhrer of BANK OF AMERICA (BofA) sent Madame X, the head of BofA’s secret police, to Marley’s apartment in SoHo and told him that they kidnapped all his doggy children.

Marley, my best friend who recently starred in Marley & Me with Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston, said Madame X has instructions from the Fuhrer to shoot all his children unless I post BofA’s job openings in New York City within 48 hours.  And that all of Marley’s children will die unless he sees a significant number of new applicants in 48 hours! 

The Fuhrer also relayed the message that this is about me trying to lure New York’s best and brightest to their rival MetLife.  That BofA and only BofA deserve to hire the most superior people out there, whoever they are, black or blue eyes, and that I should think twice before posting job leads for MetLife next time.     

So here are the 48 job openings in New York City as it appears at BofA’s career site located at http://careers.bankofamerica.com/jobsearch.aspx.  Each job title links directly to its respective job application site, and are arranged in alphabetical order to accommodate the two-out-three New Yorkers who are spoon-fed and lazy.

Some duplicative job titles above correspond to different reference numbers and, possibly, a different location.  Note that all these job openings were posted by BofA in the month of April.      

Marley I want you to know that I’m sorry – this would never happen again!  You’re my best friend.  Please forgive me.   

Article by Mr. Chow

(Sources of photos before it was modified: dogs, www.menshealth.co.uk; BofA president, www.zimbio.com.)